FOH is not a free fire zone

The FOH is not your personnel storage area.

1- do not place your bags, camera case, laptop cover, your goody bag, your friends rucksack, your rucksack, your large office laptop bag, your umbrella, your jacket and other stuff here.
We will not take care of them.
We will not be liable for them.
We will move it if it gets in our way.
When tear down comes and you are having your drinks somewhere, we will not look after your items. We will move them. We will not let it get in our way of the tear down.
Do we owe it to you to look after it and return items to you? Nope.
If it gets " stolen" it's not our shit, it's your fucking problem.

2- do not come asking for stuff at the last min. We will not entertain you. If you come early maybe we will.
Bring your own cables. I will have x27 spares, but I will tell you that I have x02 and I will need them for emergencies, last min issues which are important to the show. Not you.
We have been setting up past night and day. You come at the last min. We will not entertain you.
We will not run your FOH cable feed for you. If you are short of cables, and if you are nice, we might just lend you some.
You will return it to us after the show. We will remember your face.
We will set up audio splitters at a certain location for all you reporters.
You will run your own cables to your own tripod.

3- we have power at the FOH. Yes. But it is not for you.
We will have run the amount that we need. We will have a few spares.
This spare points are not for you.
They are not for you to charge your phone.
They are not for you to charge your laptop.
They are not for your camera's batt charger.
It is for us. Yes. We are greedy.
You the camera person should have charged your gear.
You the video camera person should have sorted out your power requirements with the client before you came to the venue. And also your cable runs. Let them know if you need any mains. We will run it for you to a point. Or tap your own from the venue.
Like above, no entertainment at the last min. We simply have no more points to give you.
And we have no spares as usual, so sorry.
Nor do we want funny shit happening to us pre show. We have done our checks. And we don't want your faulty gear coming in at the last min giving us headaches. Which leads me to;

4- you will not plug in any of your cables or plugs into any plugs, connectors, power strips and slots that you see around. Pls seek us out and ask. We will attend to you shortly.
We will fuk you up if you do the above. We will find out about it.

Many times have we walked pass, saw something new which is not in the setup, and we have plugged  that cable out.
Trust me, we will do it.

5- electrical items and components don't go very well with your half filled glass of wine or what ever.
You will not place any of your drinks anywhere near our control area.
If you have to rush off to say hi to someone, jolly well bring your damm drink with you.

6- k that's it I think. Enjoy the show.

Regards la.